Douglas’s Story

'O LE TAGATA MA LONA AIGA, O LE TAGATA MA LONA FA'ASINOMAGA'

Samoan muagagana (whakatauki):

‘A person and their family is a person and their identity’

Douglas is a warm-hearted man of Samoan descent who has faced many challenges in his life, struggling to find spaces to belong. From childhood, things have not been easy for him. He was removed from his family at a young age, and as an adult has struggled with addictions, and poor health. He has been able to hold down a tenancy at some times in his life, while at others he has cycled through various forms of homelessness - rough sleeping, couch surfing, emergency accommodation and the Night Shelter.

Douglas has connected with many different DCM kaimahi since he first walked through our doors in 2008, in particular our Pasifika and Māori staff. Over the years, he has been supported by a wide range of DCM services. When he was unable to access a bank account and benefit, this gap was filled by DCM’s Money Management Service. DCM has supported him with budgeting and Work and Income advocacy, and with sorting his debts. Douglas has received emergency dental treatment at DCM on several occasions, and has lost count of the number of times DCM has stepped in with food support for him when the money has run out.

Douglas has now been housed for some time in Berhampore, with the support of DCM’s Sustaining Tenancies team.

But perhaps even more importantly, DCM has been able to support Douglas to rebuild connection with his family, and to connect and find his place in his own community.

“I was born in Wellington and grew up in a Samoan family. My father was the caretaker at Wesley Methodist Church on Taranaki Street. I was the ‘black sheep’ of my family. I didn’t see eye to eye with my father or my brothers due to my sexuality,” Douglas shares, “which isn’t just a Christian thing, it’s also cultural. Growing up, I didn’t feel loved because of who I was. It was hard for them to accept me.”

But through it all, Douglas never lost his desire to reconnect with his whānau. This disconnection and sense of rejection had a lasting impact on him, and on his mental health and addictions. As DCM built stronger connections with Douglas, it became clear how very important this reconnection was for Douglas’s wellbeing.

Sia To’omaga is DCM’s Practice Lead. Her team delivers DCM’s Sustaining Tenancies and Community Connections programmes. They work with vulnerable tenants in their communities so that they do not fall back into homelessness, and are supported to thrive in their lives.

“We have so many connections with Douglas,” says Sia. “Even before he came to DCM back in 2008, he already knew Regina from the Benefit Rights Service, where she used to work. And Douglas and I have a family connection. My grandfather had six siblings – one of them was a woman called Emi. She ended up marrying a local military policeman at an older age. That man was a widower and he already had 7 children. One of those was a woman called Kia – she gave birth to five kids, Douglas being one of them.

So when I came to DCM I already knew his whānau. And I knew Douglas was estranged from them, and how much this had affected his life.

When his father died, it was a chance for him to reconnect. We made sure he was decked out in new clothes and new shoes and Regina and I took him to the funeral. He had to sit up front. That was a huge moment for Douglas, and the significance of that moment is hard to explain. Mostly it was a time to heal old wounds. Since then Douglas has been trying to make sense of his world. By the time of his brother's funeral, his relationship with his whānau had improved massively.”

“I was left out in the dark,” agrees Douglas, “until I lost my parents. Then, my relationship with my brothers started to improve. Finally, when my older brother died, I was able to really connect with my other siblings, and we’ve been a lot closer since.”

The past 12 months have brought more challenges for Douglas. The Covid-19 lockdown was hard on him - “There were no positives for me – though I understand it’s better to be safe than sorry. The hardest part for me was being stuck in a bubble. I wanted to reach out to my brothers and nieces, but I couldn’t.”

He has also been coping with other health concerns. Recent surgery has made accessibility to his whare a challenge, but with DCM’s support, he is working through that as well.

And the past year has brought positives too. Douglas is really enjoying connecting with DCM and his community at his local community centre. Sia and DCM’s Sustaining Tenancies team lead DCM’s Community Connections programme. When people move into their own homes, we want to spend time with them in their new communities, rather than having them come in to DCM in Lukes Lane. This programme is focused on building strong connections between whānau and their neighbours and other groups close to their homes, so that they can not only sustain their tenancies, but thrive – in their lives and their communities.

Douglas rates the Community Connections programme highly. “I think it’s a good move. It’s good for people to see DCM out in the community. A lot of people don’t know what DCM’s about, so it’s great that the staff can catch up with people right where they live. It’s not just those of us who have been supported by DCM for years who can be part of this, but others who are struggling too.”

At an emergency appointment at DCM this year, Douglas saw dentist Sophie McKenna, who discovered that he had a bad infection which needed urgent treatment. Sophie was then able to catch up with Douglas at DCM’s first mobile dental clinic right in his own community at the community connections programme there. She checked on his progress, and explained how a referral for dentures could work to better improve his oral health. Douglas has been following this up and is getting along to the hospital appointments needed to make that happen.

He has also been fully vaccinated against COVID at DCM’s vaccination clinics, and is regularly attending counselling sessions. “Mama Dee suggested I keep that going, so I will.”

During his life Douglas has done a lot of voluntary work, especially with Pasifika social services where his fluency in both English and Samoan has been an asset. He has to focus on getting his health back on track first, but then he really wants to get involved with peer support at DCM, so that he can support others to build connections. He knows how very important this is.

“I’ve had some tough times,” says Douglas, “and DCM has been there to back me up. Thank you to all those I’ve connected with over the years. And especially to Regina, Stephanie, Alan, Ula, Sia, and now Mama Dee. Thank you for being there for me.”

“The majority of the people who come to DCM are estranged from their families,” says Sia. “When we have the privilege to be part of whānau reunification – at any level – it is such a beautiful thing. We don't take the positions we have here for granted!”

Douglas is on a pathway to the life he has wanted for so long, a life in which he has his own place to call home, and regular contact with his family. His is a story about the importance of connections, and about the transformation that can take place in the lives of the most vulnerable when we are able to support them to build and rebuild those connections – with their whānau, with us and with their communities.

Photos by Nikki Parlane.