Dignity in Life and Death

Content Warning: This article touches on end-of-life care for people who have experienced homelessness, including death and family separation. We handle these issues with sensitivity, but they might be difficult to read. Please use your discretion.

At DCM, we believe that everyone deserves respect, in both life and death. Our whānau face many challenges, including a shorter life expectancy. A 2020 Waikato University study found that people experiencing homelessness in New Zealand live, on average, 30 years less than their housed peers, with many dying alone - a devastating fact.

Losing one of our whānau is never easy, but it is a reality we sometimes face. When someone we support passes away, our care continues. Sia, our Kaiarataki Ringa Rehe (Practice Leader), emphasises, “DCM stops at nothing to provide love and compassion.” We arrange funerals if needed and offer comfort to friends and family. Our goal is to ensure that those who may have felt unseen in life are given dignity in death.

Family estrangement often complicates end-of-life care, but our team goes to great lengths to reconnect relatives, even with little information, though we are not always successful. When we are able to track down someone's relatives, Sia describes it as a "miracle" because everything seems to fall into place. "It's part of our values to see the whole person - not just how they appeared to us at our door, but their family, whenua (land), and wairua (spirit)."

Regina, Kaiārahi Aro Mai (Team Lead Aro Mai Housing First) who has been part of DCM for thirteen years, agrees. "The whakapapa reconnection that happens within families after one of our whānau passes can go so wide, and it can be so healing for them. It really becomes a generational reconnection, and it is wonderful to watch.” 

For the families of our whānau that we are able to reach, our work often brings peace. Many express gratitude, knowing that their missing loved one was cared for. To us, it’s more than just a part of our work; it’s an honour to look after our whānau as we would our own family members. If we are unable to find someone’s family, then we step in as a surrogate family. Sia describes this as a “privilege”.

An example of this is when we learned that a woman we had previously supported was seriously ill. We ensured she made it to the hospital, and our staff took turns visiting her, offering comfort and companionship in her final days. "For her to accept compassion and aroha (love) after a lifetime of challenges was very meaningful and signified the immense changes she had made in the last part of her life," Sia remembers. DCM remained by her side, ensuring she wasn’t alone when she passed.

Our commitment goes beyond immediate care. Every year, around Matariki, we gather for a special memorial service to honour those we've lost. "Everyone deserves to be remembered. Celebrating their life is important, no matter their circumstances," says Sia.

This memorial allows us to share stories, lift each other up, and recognise the unique journeys of the whānau who have touched our lives. For some of our whānau, this is the only memorial they receive. Regina reflects, “Everyone deserves to die with dignity and respect. That’s the core of it for me.”

Our end-of-life care may be unseen, but it leaves a lasting impact. Whether sitting with someone as they pass, reconnecting them with family, or remembering them at our annual memorial, we do it with aroha, right to the end.